Stretch, corduroy and jumpsuit are 3 words that just shouldn?t appear together, at least not in 2003. But there it is in the Victorias Secret catalog, a stretch corduroy jumpsuit, priced at $78 and available in ?chocolate?.

I often wonder why corduroy seems to come back year after year. It?s designed for professors who smoke pipes and wear tan jackets with patches on the elbows. It turns everyone else into an elephant. And what?s the deal with velour? When did velour tracksuits become a celebrity fashion item costing $200 and why would 20 year olds need to feel comfortable?

I may have thought velour was cool when we were in middle school, but it disappeared from the fashion world for a very good reason — it?s unflattering, clings to all the wrong places and only seems to come in purple or pink. Leave it to the mums-to-be.

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In 25 days I?ll be 38. This is of course quite ridiculous and entirely unfair.

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