Million Dollar Baby
The good thing about yesterday?s movie outing was the timing. I went to the 3.45 showing which meant I got in for $6, though why I paid at all when no-one ever checks my ticket at that theater is a surprise, given my generally dishonest nature. Also, at that time the audience was quite sparse. And age-wise more middle-aged going on old than teenage and early 20?s cocky. I found it interesting the way they clustered, the majority sat within a range of about 4 rows, slightly left of center. Being on the back row, last seat on the right, this was perfect for me. I don?t understand why people would choose to be near each other in a movie theater. I become obsessed with noise and need to be far far away from any potential chatter or popcorn/candy/coke slurping activities. Also, any coughing, sneezing, nose-blowing or throat clearing. Most movie theaters sound like a sanitorium. I wonder, do people wake up in the morning with a really bad throat or a heavy cold and say to themselves, this would be a great day for a movie. And once everyone’s in there, it?s like throw-up syndrome - one person starts and then the rest catch on and this little chain of coughs begins. If you really need to cough, then cough, but before that third time, ask yourself if it?s really necessary. And if it is, then go off to the bathrooms and have a jolly good hack. Get it out of your system.
Being an older audience had its pros and cons. There were no cell phones going off, no silly giggling or inane chatter, no noisy fistfuls of popcorn, no straw slurpings and not even any crackly Werthers Originals candy unwrappings. But there was some interaction. I?m not sure what age you have to be when you decide that watching TV or a movie is an interactive experience but there were definitely a few that had reached that point. It wasn?t that they weren?t paying attention and having to ask about characters or plot points. Quite the reverse, they were a little too absorbed. Yes, the boxing scenes were violent and bloody but a loud and deliberate intake of breath was not necessary. Nor was a tut-tut when the dirty fighter knocked Hilary Swank out cold. And while there were some humorous moments, they were drawn from the characters and had depth, they weren?t sufficiently hilarious to warrant that much laughter. At least wasn?t a round of applause at the end or shouts of ?bravo? which may well be the subject of an entirely separate piece about standing ovations during live theater performances.
As usual, I?ve wound up sounding a lot grumpier than I anticipated. This was meant to be a piece about how much better this movie experience was. Because it really was. In fact until I install my own private viewing theater or can afford to rent a cinema for myself, it may be one of the best I?ve had. At least as an adult.*
*Best ever was Chittty Chitty Bang Bang matinee at the Cottage Road cinema in Headingley, Yorkshire in 1972. There was a cliffhanger interval at just the point when Chitty goes over the cliff and plummets towards the sea. There was just enough time to pee, buy a choc-ice and get back to your seat. Perfect.