The thing about bragging is that if I ever dare do it, I can guarantee that I’ll soon get my comeuppance.

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I don’t do much crowd work when I’m onstage. I find the whole ‘where are you folks from’ stuff pretty corny, plus as I don’t really like people very much so it’s hard to muster up much enthusiasm for their responses.

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Overheard at Mozart’s coffee shop:

“I’m much more comfortable in my own skin now. I hope that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn into a jellyfish”

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I knew it as soon as I saw his nasty rolled down navy blue socks, shorts and brown shoes. British.

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