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Hot as a Monkey’s Bum

Today it?s cold, damp, dark and miserable outside. And I’m at least three of those things. What makes this kind of weather worse is people?s need to talk to me about it. ?So?, they?ll say cheerfully as the temperature drops below 30 degrees, ?this must remind you of home?. As if it?s somehow a good thing that one of the very things I hated about England has now followed me here to Texas.

Yes it does remind me. It reminds me of 33 years of my life, just not in a good way. I don?t carry some kind of cold crappy weather gene that makes me happily think of good ol’ blighty each time I have to bundle up in layers and gloves or get soaked in a thunderstorm.

I love sun, heat, blue skies and air conditioning.That?s why I came here three years ago and stayed. Texas is supposed to be toasty, a bit on the parched side, a bit prickly pear. They weren?t wearing rain ponchos during the seige of the Alamo. Travis? line in the sand wasn?t washed away in an unexpected downpour. And I haven?t been dancing naked in my backyard, recently. So if you?re loving this weather, keep it to yourself. I prefer Texas when it?s hot as a monkey?s bum, your Majesty.