Skip to content

Don’t mess with Texas truckers

Was waiting at a traffic light yesterday when I saw the guy in front of me roll down his window and chuck out a Wendy?s bag. Presumably he?d just finished his delicious flesh and bones burger and took advantage of the handy ever-present rubbish bin to dispose of the remains.

I was enraged by this. I hate litterers, probably because I used to be one. I?ve chucked empty beer cans out of windows, thrown out sweet wrappers and the contents of the car ashtray when it go too full to squeeze in one more fag butt. I knew it was wrong but everyone else was doing it so I thought why not. Bit like Nazi Germany I suppose. But at least in this sense I’ve grown up. I was so pissed off at the guy that when the light changed I had the overwhelming urge to drive up on his tail really really fast. Then once I?d got him rattled, I?d zip out to his right side and pull so far across into his lane that I?d run him off the road. As he was spinning around, or maybe even flipped upside down, I?d slow, roll down my window and yell, that?s for the animals AND the environment?.

But I didn?t. He was driving a big ass extra-wide truck with those shiny rims. And it was black. And I could see he was wearing a cowboy hat. I was driving a Subaru Forester and wearing fleece. It would have been an uneven match. Instead I stayed a safe distance behind him and pulled an exaggeratedly angry face, hoping that he would see it in his rear view mirror and feel remorse.