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Finished my run training this morning and our coach (Michael, not Jeremy from the previous blog – I suspect Michael would be more prone to blackmail) had the 5 of us get into a ‘plank’ position. It’s like a push up but with your elbows on ground and it works/kills your abs. We had to stay like that for as long as possible. I made it to 3 minutes and 9 seconds which I was pretty proud of, especially as it’s bloody painful and no-one else came close to that. But as I got to about 2 mins 45, Michael pointed out to the group that the less you weighed, the easier it was. I weigh less than the others. Screw all the core training I do, I should eat more lard so my achievement would be that much greater.

Just come back from Central Market. It took 15 minutes to check out, because they only had one main checkout person. Another 3 were working the 10 items or less aisle, but no-one was buying 10 items or less. Everybody had enough items in their trolleys to make them sufficiently lardy to ‘beat’ me in a plank position contest. And of course they brought their screaming 4 year olds along for the ride.

‘Would you like to help mummy take things out of the cart?’

Don’t be ridiculous. It takes them for bloody ever and they always drops something. If you need help I’ll do it. And you can use the extra time to start writing your check before the last item is rung up. I know, crazy idea.

It’s only 9.45am. I bet the day can get worse.

And yes, before you get judgemental, my problems are insignificant compared to millions of others in the world. But I’m still fucked off.